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Deep Waters & Introspection on a Friday night |
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| At times I look life with a rather jaundiced eye. Jaundiced
because the storms that toss the waters of my world tend to be so rough
that no equilibrium remains. Mostly, I just try to figure it all out so
that I can steer my small life's vessel with some safety on a very stormy
sea. I think I must be a rather bad sailor because I so seldom sail smooth
waters.
The last two years have been the most rocky and dangerous and many a time I thought I might drown. Maybe it wasn't that things were rougher than before - I can't really say for sure. |
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Prior to that I had felt a new sense of safety for several years. It took a while for me to realize that the calm was not a danger and that I could sail happily on through the rest of my days. I was in love and truly believed that I was loved in return. I felt my sails begin to fill with a strong, steady wind and the waves easier to negotiate. The moon shone brighter, the day began to fill with colors of childhood. |
| And then...I shipwrecked and thought I would die. But I didn't. Obviously. | |
| But still, I wonder and wonder what strange currents continue to churn in me that compel me over the edge of my known world. | |
| It's true, I can't go back, can't look back. On lonely days, I wish it could've worked out differently. It is a salty tear that spills. |
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