| I believe I
am in a spot of trouble. The full realization of how alone I am has dawned
on me.
Since my job ended, my former
employer appears to have underpaid me by a significant amount of money. I
am no spring chicken. My looks have aged. My dog is dead. I have no
resources, no prospects for the future. No family in America. My back
tooth has broken. I cannot afford next month's rent. I have relied
too much on friends for emotional sustenance. I feel like a mother who has
had her entire family taken from her.
I have two cats and an apartment
full of furniture and an old car which needs to be disposed of.. I am
alone and afraid. I will have about $500.00 with which to begin a new
life. I do not think I could even travel across the country with
that. It is a long way to California from Tennessee.
I wonder what I should do.
I am most definitely unloved and
without self confidence.
My creative abilities have no more
use in this world and I cannot seem to get any employment.
I am at a loss in every way
possible. |
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What I
would love to have:
- a place to call home
- a satisfying job
- my family returned to me
- my friends close by
- a dental plan
- my own organic garden
- a big smile
It is almost 2 a.m. and I feel a
sense of comfort nestling inside. As if something good is going to happen.
What a life of extremes I lead. I wonder a lot about 'other
people'. Do they have a secret knowledge about how to get by without
anything affecting them too much? Where do I find this mysterious
ingredient? Why have I had such a
hard time recovering from the death of my relationship? |