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an unorthodox journey


Coffee and No You

 It happens every morning. I open my eyes and say "Good morning, my love". The funny thing is, mental stability questions aside, you are not there. You haven't been there for a long time. Almost two years. I have my coffee in the morning and in my mind you put it in my hands. If you only had known how very much I loved you, if you only had known. Would it have made a difference?

For some reason my Self cannot comprehend that you are not there. I have tried in every way to forget, move on, let go. I can say only this: I could more easily cut out my heart from its cage than stop loving you. Time goes by and I am aging fast and still you are with me. It was that feeling of destiny, of coming home at last, of 'oh, so this is what I was born to do'.

I still talk to you, as if you are sitting across the room. I look at my state of the heart and I try to ask myself why there is no tomorrow without you. Is it because, for the first and only time, I believed that somebody really loved me for who and what I am? Is it because I saw something in you which triggered my entire being to become infused with love? I don't know any of the answers. I only know that I love you.

I try to think of you as a lover who died and I walk as widows have walked for all these thousands of years. I work, I function, I still dream dreams ...and I have my coffee in the morning.

More cheerful, please


I joined this cool web forum the other day

Topic FOUR here

Topic FIVE here

Keep on your journey, Friend. Dreams change. Find joy in something.